Spastic Fuck Lord

I HATE these pictures.  I will tell you why.  Not long ago I met a guy online.  He wasn’t perfect, but he wasn’t all jacked up either.  I tend to stay away from guys whom seem too good to be true, because I think there is something seriously wrong with them.  Anyway, I met this guy online.  We start to chat, we Skype, we have mutual masturbation sessions using Skype. 

He called me almost every day, and I would get all excited when I would get a text from him.  After I did a background check on him; oh hell yes I did and I ran one in every single state! I decided since he came up clean, that I would ask if he wanted to meet.  He was more than willing to do so. 

I drive my fine ass 876 miles to meet this guy.  I pay for a hotel room because I didn’t want to stay with him, just to be safe, because clean background check or not, you never know.  I phone him to tell him I am there and send him this pic to get him heated up before we go to dinner.

We meet for dinner, everything goes great.  We are getting along so well.  He is good looking and I’m sorry but it has been awhile since I have had cock because I’m seriously picky about whom I allow to fuck me, so I asked him if he would like to go back to the Hotel with me.  Now I want you to know that I procured two Hotel rooms, one where I was staying, and another at a different Hotel.  Again, just to be on the safe side.

I drive us there, I simply cannot wait to get him into bed.  We make out in the elevator, his hands are all over me, mine are all over him.  It was seriously amazing.  We get into the room, strip, jump into bed, and he goes to fuck me and he is fucking me like he is having an epileptic seizure.  I mean, I must of had this wtf look on my face because he stopped and asked me what was wrong.  I said nothing because I thought he was just over excited.  Nope.

That is just the way this spastic uncoordinated guy fucked.  It was horrible, his hips were going back and forth, side to side, he was making this crazy almost donkey like noise, he kept slipping out and poking me in the thigh.  I thought maybe his balance was off, inner ear infection or something.  It was crazy, it was like he was on a boat in a storm, and I was laying flat on the sand.  I couldn’t help it, I started to laugh.  I laughed so hard I couldn’t stop.  I couldn’t even believe how bad it was. 

Now every time I see this picture I think of this guy and his dick with no direction.  I started calling him Spastic Fuck Lord, I thought it was rather funny. He however did not.  The whole experience was crazy, weird, laughable and THE WORST SEX OF MY LIFE!

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