The priest at my church has been talking a lot about outreach lately. “How can we reach the hearts of those sinners?” he asks us every Sunday.
Hearts?
No, no, no.
We need to reach their cocks and pussies.
You see, the only way to connect with a sinner is by using a sinner. I love debauchery. I’m the dirtiest whore in the entire congregation. But that’s because I’m so loyal to Jesus. Look at how much he loved Mary Magdalene. I’m just like her, except 10x hotter, much younger, and not quite as uppity. It’s for this very reason that I have so much success converting sinners to saints.
All I have to do is use my proven technique for success: pulling down my pants.
It always secures at least a ten minute conversation, and while the men are moaning and grunting and thrusting into me, I am spreading the word about my wonderful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Now all I have to do is keep it up and make sure that I’m touching lots of sex organs. The more ass I get, the more I can spread Christianity! Oh, and my pussy.
You see? Easy!
Hillary
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