So last night I was lighting a joint and chilling out. Thinking about how tonight is youth group and all of that. I haven’t really been participating lately. That is such a sin. Thing is, I’ve been picking up some really dirty habits lately. I’m addicted to dope like the air I breathe. Thing is, I need a script for it. That’s right. Doctor’s orders. So I made an appointment today with my local family practicioner. When I walked through the door, people kept giving me weird looks in the reception room. I mean, what’s so weird about a red and white bikini made of plastic material? I mean, there are medical crosses on it and EVERYTHING! It’s like, totally Christian. Plus I have a cute hat and adorable boots to match! So I walk into the examination room, and this jealous (actual, legit, real-life) nurse gives me a dirty look. Envy is a sin! She’s just twisted up inside because I have a hot bod. Anyway, I’m sitting there waiting for the doctor, and when he comes in, he gives me a completely skeptical look. I just smile and tell him I have cancer and need a medical marijuana prescription. Yes, lying is also a sin, but it’s cancelled out by the fact that I am doing a good deed. I fully intend to share my dope with youth group tonight. That benefits the whole religious community of teenagers and also relieves their stress. He said he didn’t believe I had cancer, so I had to advance on him and pull my bikini top down. While he was distracted, I took advantage of his innocence by quickly pulling down his fly and shoving those khaki pants down past his butt. Those tighty-whities couldn’t conceal his erection beneath! I sucked that cock like a bitch in heat. I needed that seed to eat. I fingered his balls like Mary Magdalene before her redemption. I deep throated that dick like you’ve never seen before. I was a whore! And at the end, I got my prescription, adjusted my bikini top, and picked up my purse off the floor. Then I walked straight out that door without looking back. Doctor shopping at it’s best, everybody.
Hillary
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